


Understanding

by moonlightreader (curlysupergirl)



Series: You Needn't Worry Your Pretty Little Head [5]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bad Communication, Bottom Severus Snape, Chauvinism, Chauvinism kink, Condescending Kink, Consensual Kink, Crossdressing Kink, Dirty Talk, Dom Harry, Dom Harry Potter, Dom/sub, Domestic Kink, Dominance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Support, Feminization, Humiliation, M/M, Magical Inheritance, Magically Powerful Harry Potter, Master/Pet, Master/Slave, Masturbation, Obedience, Obedience Kink, Orders, Orgasm Control, Orgasm Delay, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Orgasm Denial, Panties, Panty Kink, Past Trust Issues, Past sexual misconduct, Poetry, Possessive Behavior, Power Dynamics, Power Imbalance, Power Play, Powerful Harry Potter, Praise Kink, Resolving poor communication, Rules, Service Submission, Sexual Fantasy, Smut, Strict Dominant, Sub Severus Snape, Submission, Subspace, Top Harry, Top Harry Potter, Total Power Exchange, Verbal Humiliation, condescension kink, micromanagement, poor communication
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-08-16 17:36:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16499765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/curlysupergirl/pseuds/moonlightreader
Summary: Set during the first part of the series, Severus helps Harry work through his fears to distinguish a consensual relationship from abuse





	Understanding

In the early days of their relationship, soon after their bonding, Harry struggled with the overwhelming possession he felt for his submissive. He thought Severus didn’t notice, but it kept him awake at night long after his submissive closed his eyes. The problem was that the less sleep he got, the more his baser instincts came out and his possessive behavior was getting out of hand. 

 

He was barking orders at Severus all hours of the day, micromanaging everything, and terrifying himself in the process. He was waiting for the day that Severus would slap him across the face and walk away. But the older man just took it all in stride. He obeyed every order to the letter and when Harry was at his wits end (which was quite often considering how little he was sleeping), Severus was always there at his feet, resting his head on Harry’s thigh, grounding him. He relished those moments when his submissive seemed to quiet the noise in his head, but at night he lie awake, worried that he was abusing Severus’s affections. 

 

Harry was falling asleep in his classes and falling behind on his work and Hermione could only pick up so much of his slack. One Winter day, it all got to be too much and Harry cut out of his classes after lunch to go home early. Inside their rooms, Severus heard the click of their lock and he looked up in surprise at his young Master. He cast a stasis spell on the meal he was preparing for dinner and quickly fell to his knees to greet his Master. 

 

Harry looked at his perfect pet, his pet who was so happy to see him, his pet who didn’t ask why he was there but accepted it and appreciated it all the same. And something inside him just cracked. 

 

“I can’t take this anymore, Severus! How do you take my abuse?” 

 

“Master..?” asked Severus, his smile dropping off his face. 

 

“I have been an absolute tyrant to you. I give you insane orders at all times of the day and night, and you still respond with a ‘Thank you, Master’. At what point do you tell me to go shove it? What will it take for you to say ‘no’?!” 

 

Severus was taken aback. He wasn’t sure what prompted this outburst. He knew his Master had been struggling with something the last few weeks but he didn’t imagine that it was connected to his dominance. His Master always seemed perfectly comfortable in his position. He was a natural commander and caregiver; what other qualities could Severus hope for? 

 

“When you say or do something that is not right, I will refuse. In these past few months, you have never once said or done anything that would make me question your judgement. Even if I was not always happy with your decisions, I understood that they were always made with my best interests in mind. I am not sure you are capable of harming me; your bloody Gryffindor tendencies are far too strong,” he joked, trying to lighten the mood.

 

“But I-”

 

“I’m sorry, Sir,” said Severus, standing up and pulling his Master into a hug. “I must respectfully interrupt. I did not consider that growing up in the muggle world, you have not been exposed to bloodline relationships before. I knew you were struggling with something but I did not stop to consider that it was our relationship, because from my point of view, it has been nothing but wonderful. I have a gorgeous young dominant who makes me feel as if I am sixteen again, takes my submission to depths I could not imagine exploring, and treats me better than anyone I have ever known.” 

 

“....What…?”

 

“My eloquent Master,” said Severus with a smirk. “If you would permit me,” he continued, far more respectfully, “to retrieve something from our bedroom, I have something I wish to share with you.”

 

“Yes, of course.”

 

“One moment, please, Sir.”

 

“You have ninety seconds.”

 

Harry paused. 

 

“Fuck, what is wrong with me?”

 

“Nothing, Master. You are my dominant; you are not just permitted, but encouraged, to dictate my actions. I love it, and you love it, so why on earth should you stop?”

 

“There’s no limit,” he whispered, terrified. “My urges keep growing, and I don’t know if they’ll ever stop. I need to know that you know how to say ‘no’. I need to know that you have recourse if I go too far.”

 

“Master, the fact that this has been keeping you up at night tells me that you will never consciously abuse your power; but please, let me-” 

 

“Yes, go get whatever it is.”

 

Severus came back less than twenty seconds later. He didn’t want his Master hurting. He needed to show him something deeply personal, something that would reassure him. 

 

“I’ve never shown anyone this before, but…” Severus paused and took a deep breath. “When I was about your age, I dated a Ravenclaw for the better part of the school year. I- he- he was very self-unaware. He would say things, promise things, that he violated time and time again. I was young and I had voiced my hesitation about acts of a sexual nature and he made me feel terrible for denying him. He- he tried to touch me in areas very close to those I deemed intimate and made it seem unintentional, then pretended it was okay because of our romantic involvement. There was a disconnect between his actions and his words. I don’t believe he meant to betray his words, I believe that he was truly not aware of his manipulations. At least I’d like to believe that. It’s hard to imagine that he might have had malicious intentions and that I might have permitted his behavior to take place.”

 

“Oh God, and now history is repeating.”

 

“No, Master. It isn’t. Because I am not the same person. The decisions I made then helped define who I am today. Please, read.”

 

**_Understand_ **

 

_ Here’s the thing you don’t understand _

_ Sometimes love isn’t enough _

_ To this day you still don’t know what I need _

_ You think I can’t be weak because I’m so tough  _

 

_ You don’t understand  _

_ Because I’m in control all the time _

_ But because I work and I plan  _

_ I need a space to unwind _

 

_ A space in my head _

_ Safe and quiet _

_ With a guide to protect me _

_ Who won’t ask me why it _

 

_ Why it matters  _

_ Because he already understands _

_ And wants to help me _

_ Feel safe in his hands  _

 

_ How many times did you assume  _

_ That I wanted you to serve _

_ Well I want that for myself! _

_ It’s the least that I deserve  _

 

_ It’s not a game _

_ To choose when to play _

_ It’s my life, it’s my health _

_ So I made my choice and walked away _

 

_ You pushed me and touched me _

_ In ways I didn’t choose _

_ You tried to convince me to compromise _

_ That it’s never win or lose _

 

_ But I’m telling you now _

_ You lost me for good _

_ I left with my scars _

_ When I never thought I would   _

 

_ And I haven’t told anyone _

_ Because what would I say? _

_ You didn’t force me, but you cajoled _

_ I wanted you happy, but not enough to stay _

 

_ So I’m sending out this message  _

_ You’re allowed to walk away  _

_ It’s not always abuse  _

_ But that doesn’t make it okay  _

 

_ Take care of yourself _

_ Until you find someone to help _

_ Feel free to let your guard down _

_ But don’t you dare risk your health  _

 

_ You deserve to be happy _

_ You deserve the world _

_ And if they don’t hang the stars for you _

_ Then that’s not your guy or girl  _

 

_ Here’s the thing you need to understand _

_ Sometimes love isn’t enough _

_ Respect for your partner is so important  _

_ And even more so, trust _

 

_ So take care of yourself _

_ Until you find someone you trust _

_ To take you to that place in your head _

_ And love you like he must _

 

By the time Harry got to the last paragraph, his hands were shaking. Out of rage, or concern for his submissive, he wasn’t sure. 

 

“He…. he touched you,” he said in a shaking voice. 

 

“Yes,” replied Severus calmly. “And I let it slide once or twice. But I found myself becoming physically sick at the thought of being alone with him. I convinced myself for months that it was okay, that we would get bonded anyhow because someday he would understand. Bear in mind, this was before my inheritance, so it was easier to rationalize and ignore reality.” He paused briefly then continued. 

 

“He was very insecure, very jealous. He showered me with gifts but would pick his own happiness over mine any day. I think the most telling thing was that he would talk so much about how he would never hurt me, never push me, never do anything I wasn’t okay with. In retrospect, I believe he talked about it so much because he knew that it wasn’t true. And he needed to convince himself that it was. When he found out I enjoyed submission, he assumed I wanted him to call me Master. He would tease me about it even after I explained that I wanted a Master, not to be one. For all that he knew about me, all that I had shared and explained, there were just so many things he didn’t understand, so many things that fell on deaf ears. I can’t even say he was a bad person, but he did some bad things. Things I couldn’t forgive. So I ended it. And thank Merlin I did, because I found you instead. 

 

“You have this idea in your head, Harry, that you’re not ever allowed to fuck up. Excuse my language please, Sir. This is a relationship; you are human. I am so sorry if I somehow gave you the idea that you have to in control all the time. I understand that we are both happier when you are in control, but everyone is allowed moments of weakness. I would be a terrible person if I didn’t support you when you needed it. You support me quite literally every second of every day. And I love it. But you’re allowed to need me too. Being dominant doesn’t mean being perfect. I’m a little insulted you think that I would tolerate an abusive relationship.”

 

“It happens to stronger people than you, Severus. And you put yourself in a vulnerable position far more than others.”

 

“Because you allow me to. Because I trust you to care for me. And trust me- that was hard earned, not freely given. You’re not an abuser, Harry. I won’t ever allow you to be.”

 

“Could you just hold me for a little, please?”

 

“Of course, Harry.”

 

Severus wrapped his hands around his Master, his bonded, and helped him regulate his breathing, his own calm breaths setting the pace with the rise and fall of his chest against his Master’s back. They fell into a peaceful silence. 

 

“Harry?” 

 

“Yes, Severus?”

 

“I think you need a safeword. To use when you need to not be my Master and just be my bonded.”

 

“I’ll always be your Master, Severus.”

 

“Everyone gets days off.”

 

They fell back into silence as Harry got lost in thought. 

 

“Lily,” he said, breaking the silence. “It won’t come up in casual conversation easily, and ever since third year with the dementors, when I saw how my mother died…” He trailed off. 

 

“I’m sorry you had to go through that, Sir.”

 

“That’ll be my word. Trust me I won’t say it unless I absolutely have to.”

 

“Sir? If I may, I respectfully advise that we take a night off. Once a week, once every two weeks, we go out and have a night just for the two of us. You’ve grown up so fast, more than your classmates could even fathom, but I would like you to get to enjoy the experience of dating too. We could go to dinner, or bowling, or a museum. I might even be pursuaded to go ice skating.”

 

“That sounds wonderful, Severus, thank you. And thank you for sharing this with me,” he said, waving at the parchment. “I know it was not easy and I truly appreciate the lengths you go to make me happy. I love you, my sweet submissive.”

 

Severus blushed. A little pit of desire curled low in his stomach. 

 

“Master, I know that I helped you just now by voicing my opinions but -only if you’re feeling up to it- would- could you please do that thing..?”

 

“Where I tell you not to worry your pretty little head? Of course. My sweet submissive, so brilliant, so strong... and loves to be treated like a bimbo. Like a helpless, brainless boy who cannot do anything without help. I love you so much for asking for this, Severus. My sweet pet. Come here.”

 

He pulled Severus into his lap and snaked an arm between his legs to clasp his hand possessively over his submissive’s crotch. He patted it a few times for good measure. 

 

“My sweet submissive,” said Harry, falling back into his natural role easily. He still had his doubts, but he knew now that they would get through it all together. Severus truly helped him in so many ways. Just asking for this now, knowing that he wanted this just as much as Harry, made the young dominant feel so much better. He drummed his fingers against his pet’s balls and ran a finger in circles around his entrance. The panties his pet wore kept his cock trapped in a little bulge and his hole open to play with. He felt the lines of silk through his submissive’s trousers. “Should we start from the beginning? Try telling me you noticed something wrong, Severus.”

 

Severus did, his voice high pitched and breathy from arousal. 

 

“Master, I- I noticed something has been bothering you lately.” 

 

“How many times do I have to explain this Severus? This pretty little head was made for one thing and it wasn’t thinking. Look how many times we have to have this conversation. I bet if I opened it up, there would just be air inside. Maybe some rainbows and panties too. What do you daydream about, pretty boy? Do you dream of me putting you in pretty dresses? Of you keeping house while I go to work, and cooking and cleaning so the rooms are fit for when I come home? 

 

“Do you daydream of coloring your face with powder and your nails with paint to look like my pretty little girl? My perfect wifey? What do think about all day when your Master is out? Can you even call it thinking?” Severus’s breath hitched. “My ditzy little girl. You’d get lost making toast if you didn’t have me to guide you. 

 

“I think I have a new chore for you, pretty girl. You’ve been spending an hour or two every day reading those lovely romance novels I pick out for you- well I’d like to add to that activity. During that time, if of course you can somehow manage reading and doing what I say at the same time, you’re going to pleasure yourself for half an hour. No touching your little clitty, just your pussy, Baby, okay? You’re just going to use your fingers, or whatever object I leave you in the morning, to play with your pussy for half hour every day while reading those lovely, vapid novels. 

 

“You won’t come, of course, during that time. Your orgasms are entirely at my command. But you will make your pussy all happy, and- this is where I know it will get difficult for my silly little girl- you’re going to try your hardest to remember what you dream about while making your pussy happy. And then, when I come home at night, you’ll tell me all about it. Doesn’t that sound nice, sweetheart? Such a lovely, slutty girl, pleasuring herself in the middle of the day for her Master. How does that sound, baby girl?”

 

Severus was lost in the fantasy, his eyes glazed over, his cheeks red hot, and his little clitty pumping out buckets of lubrication. When he finally collected his words, he spoke in a breathy voice, high pitched from embarrassment. 

 

“It sounds wonderful, Master; I can’t wait.”

 

“I love you so much,” replied Harry. 

 

Harry leaned forward to kiss Severus on the forehead and then down a little to whisper in his submissive’s ear. 

 

“Thank you.” 

  
  



End file.
